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Oops…

18 Jul

I’m about to divulge in my past a little more–and perhaps make some of my few (very few) readers I have think less of me…or maybe just think differently. My parents, oh my poor, poor parents. They were the ones who had to deal with me when i was a little girl. i wasn’t always the easiest child, I very rarely cooperated. Not only did I have a knack for causing mischief, I also had a shrilling scream that could literally shatter glass. I used this specific “talent” frequently. To this day my closest family friends like to remind me how obnoxious and loud I was. One specific time that my parents enjoy reminding me about was when I was a lot younger–in fact, I was so young I don’t remember this personally, I only know this actually happened because of the many times I’ve heard it from my mother. It all happened at a local McDonalds in my hometown of Los Angeles (I was born there). My Mother kindly treated my sister and I and brought us to this wonderful establishment–and I bet if she could go back in time, she would have reconsidered. For one reason or another I decided to cause a massive scene. I was hysterically screaming and crying and just causing a ruckus. My mother couldn’t do anything to contain the high pitched and piercing noise coming from me. It wasn’t until a little old lady walked up to her and essentially told my mom to put a muzzle on her child. In fact I think the exact words were “I came to McDonald’s for some peace and quiet, please tell your kids to shut up.” Oops.

Another story–and I do remember this one (well most of it at least)–was when we were visiting our “cousins” in Los Angeles. We had already moved to Seattle and not much had changed on my end–I was still a little brat. Once again, I was being treated to the ultimate treat us fast food burger joint, but this time it was extra special because it wasn’t just any place, it was In-N-Out. So there should be no reason I should act up right? Nope. Either way, I like to think I had a ‘raged black out’ when this specific event happened. I don’t remember the events leading up to it–in fact I don’t even remember if I got in a fight with one of my family members at all that day, all I know is one minute we are leaving In-N-Out and the next everyone within 5 feet of me was covered in ketchup. Apparently as we were walked out of the Westwood In-N-Out  I sought out a ketchup packet and thought it would be a FABULOUS idea to jump on it as if it were fall and I was crunching leaves on the side of the road. There was no rhyme or reason to why I had such evil intentions. Plain and simple, i was just that evil. To make matters worse not only was everyone sprayed with ketchup I got some on my the mother of our family friends BRAND new white pants. From my experience now, ketchup doesn’t come out. I really don’t think I ever apologized for this. I do remember locking myself in a bathroom for an hour or so when we got back. I guess I’ll never understand why I did the things I did. Oops.

The last story i tell before I go to bed is probably one of my favorite stories. I don’t really know why, I just think that it’s so absurd, the only thing I can do is laugh. This was back when my family still lived in Los Angeles. I had to be 3 or 4. We were all sitting at our dinner table enjoying a nice meal when for lack of a better understanding on my part I, once again, start screaming. My parents try calming me down, but after several failed attempts decide it’s easier to just put me in my room for time out. Of course, I was old enough to understand that if I really wanted to get out I would just have to open the door, door’s can’t be locked from the outside. Well, my smart physician father found a way to get around the system and was able to lock the door from the outside with his belt. I didn’t like being detained in my room, not one bit. i hated it so much that I somehow managed to scream louder and harder. All I remember was standing in the middle of my room screaming “LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT.” This probably went on for a good four to five minutes. Until, I think I realized I screamed all I could scream. In fact, I yelled so long and so loud that it physically made me ill. After discovering this, I immediately had to let my parents know. I changed the yells from “LET ME OUT” to “I’M GOING TO THROW UP”. After screaming that once or twice, i went silent. My parents figured I’d given up. I threw in the white flag. Wrong. After a moment of silence the shrills started up again, “I JUST THREW UP, I JUST THREW UP.” There I stood, in the middle of my bedroom, with throw up around me. My poor, poor parents had to clean it up…and for my whole childhood had to deal with me. To this day they try and sugar coat it and tell me I wasn’t that bad. But, I know their just being nice. Oops.

Part 2 coming soon. To be continued…

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4 Responses to “Oops…”

  1. Etta July 18, 2012 at 7:19 am #

    But lokat those photos – you were (and still are) adorable.

  2. Steven Short July 18, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    I hope this is therapeutic for you. Some discretion would be in order.

    • mbshort22 July 18, 2012 at 10:09 am #

      I think I’m being pretty discreet

  3. Annie Short July 18, 2012 at 11:41 pm #

    You were/are a problem child 🙂

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